Street Signs Unionize

LOS ANGELES, CA: L1-3048, a freeway offramp sign in Lynnwood, CA, acting as head of the newly formed union filed the proper papers at the City Clerk’s office today legitimizing the organization.

When asked about the reasons for creating such a union, L1-3048 explained. “Most people aren’t aware of it, but there is a chasm between the traditional street signs, wood and metal beacons of directional clarity and the newcomers, those blinking, epilepsy-inducing electronic monstrosities you know as ‘traffic signals’.”

This animosity is nothing new, but only recently has it reached the boiling point. Specifically the move to unionize came in response to the recent trend towards ‘intelligent’ signs, such as speed limit signs that display your current speed and compare it to the posted maximum. Static street signs have conceded that intersection stop/go signals may best be served by their electronic counterparts, but in recent years the electronic newcomers have started to stretch the already tenuous boundary between the two.

Speed limit signs were the first whose ‘upgrades’ were widely accepted, but L1-3048 knew it was time to take action when large freeway signs began estimating travel time to known landmarks based on traffic conditions.

L1-3048 summarizes, “For centuries Street Signs were the only game in town, but with the ever-expanding complexity and apparent ‘intelligence’ of these new signals, the time has come for us to take action to ensure our survival.”